From a man’s perspective this is quite difficult to swallow. I’ve read lots on this subject walking ‘eyes wide open’ into such a relationship leaving me with a strong need to understand. I’m 50 years old now and my partner 53, when we met two years ago my partner said that intimacy and physical contact was all important and the reason she’d ended her previous relationship was that this didn’t exist. So as the article and comments suggest while our liaisons where at weekends everything was great and I often thought I’d not be able to keep up ‘my end of the deal’ if we lived together it was so hot and exciting. After about a year I moved in and suddenly mid-week contact ended, we have no children and our jobs are not stressful we’re in a good position, both fit and healthy. The only thing I should add is my partner has now gone through the menopause, so perhaps adjustments need to be made for this. We’ve had discussions about this and all I’m told is that I’m loved very much and everything is fine, it’s not for me, I feel dejected and to an extent cheated. I try to be everything a man should be, kind, considerate, supportive, romantic etc. my partner seems to think giving herself to me at the weekend is the answer but unless we are away from home rarely takes part. I’ve thought of looking for what I’m missing outside our relationship but that’s not the answer because it’s not purely about sex, it’s about making love to the woman you love and feeling that closeness. So as a man are we to just accept that in the beginning we’ll have a fabulous relationship but then after ‘the honeymoon period’ accept our special lady will be longing the excitement of another man. Perhaps we are closer to our distant Bonobo monkey cousins than most of us know and would benefit from looking how there society interacts rather than living a false existence in a society created by individuals with selfish motives. The only thing in my opinion that separates us from our distant cousins is jealousy.
I’m sorry you’re in such a predicament. In most cases, I don’t think that can be helped, but I hope you find someone who can give you advice.
You’re both committed to the relationship, but the relationship means something different to each of you
I have the same exact situation Mr, Steve. Unfortunatly for me, i am 28 years old, and my wife is 29. We’ve been together for 3 years, living together for 1 year now, and since we moved in our sex life decreased in 90% or more. I have searched every single study, spent hours reading and so far I’ve got to no conclusion what so ever. As you said, I try to be kind, respectful, and give everything she needs, but despite that, we lucky enough for her to say something like ” hey, lets ****, we have to”. It hurts me inside ALOT but, as a man and a human being, my sexual needs are so high, that I manage to get myself in the mood and make the best out of the situation…..i have no clue whatsoever what to do with my life. I love her, but i cannot live a life without sex. This past year has got me climbing walls, and the stress that this whole situation creates is awfull, and makes alot of problems in the work, in the relationship, and in my social life. Please, someone, give me some advice…